Thursday, November 24, 2011

Giving Thanks

Well, it is Thanksgiving Day for us in the U.S.

This holiday just kind of snuck up on me...I didn't even know that Thanksgiving was this week, until this week! But my family is not all that traditional anyways, and due to the many extended family circles, we don't get together for our big family dinner until Saturday.

But it does seem that everyone else in my family has somewhere to be today, so my husband and I are just spending the day at home like any other day. I am beading (and playing on the computer) and he is playing his guitar and the occasional video game.

I guess the only real problem I am having with this holiday is that nothing is open, not even the Chinese Restaurants!! What's up with that? But also since money is kind of tight these days (not to mention grocery shopping is a major chore with my car being out of commission lately) we haven't even prepared a regular, non holiday dinner and we have very few options in the pantry!

But at least we can look forward to a wonderful meal prepared by my mom on Saturday...and there will be left overs that will last us at least 3 or 4 days!

It has been a really rough year for me both emotionally and financially, but I do still have many things to be thankful for. I have an awesome husband and a beautiful daughter and I have my parents; I have my brother, his wife and my niece; I have my sister, her husband and my nephews and all of their extended families. And with the exception of my 2 nephews, we all live in or around the same even with all of our family issues and excentricities, we are still a close family and I love them all.

And I have my beads!

I am so thankful to have discovered the these little beauties. They have definitely saved me from a life of uselessness...and I know that sounds a little ridiculous, but it really is true.

I hate feeling useless...and non productive.

I have always worked in the service industry on many different levels, and most of the time whether your work is appreciated or not, it is a non productive industry. By "non productive" I mean that you produce nothing, and that can make you feel pretty damn useless when you spend most of your life working to support yourself and your family.

But there has been a deep, dark feeling of uselessness inside me for a while. Several years ago a culmination of events and major life changes sent me into this downward spiral. But in the simplest terms, it just boils down to not having anything important or meaningful to fill my time...outside of work, loved ones, friends, family. Having something of your own, that matters to you is very important to feeling fullfilled in life.

So when I discovered the world of beads...I felt like I had discovered myself again and felt like I had some sense of purpose and usefulness again! I could create beautiful and tangible things with these tiny glass beads.

And when I am working with my beads that darkness seems to fade away into the background. I feel useful and creative and productive. And it doesn't matter whether my beadwork is appreciated or needed by anyone is appreciated and needed by me.

So I am very thankful for my beads. And for my husband who understands why I stay up all night working and playing with my beads!

So, Happy Thanksgiving! Knowing how dark this world can be, I hope that you can find some little light in your life to be thankful for!

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